The End Makes Space for a Fresh Start

Bittersweet Endings

Grief is often the process that ensues the end of an event: a job, a relationship, or a vacation. Because life is comprised of a series of changes, endings are inevitable. Sometimes, endings are melancholy, like the passing of a loved one. But other endings can be inspirational, like the ending of a job tenure or a relationship that was maintained for way longer than it should have because of getting comfortable. Regardless of the emotions surrounding the change, the finality of one event serves as a catalyst for us to wander into the next, great unknown.

An Opportunity to Move Forward

Before I started dating the man who eventually became my husband, I joked that my favorite part of every relationship before him was the breakup. The sensation of being removed from an emotional situation I had no business staying in felt like the ultimate signal to level up, even if leveling up meant being alone. Some breakups were the best things that could have happened for me.

The inescapable sting from the ego's reaction to the failure to stay with someone was short-lived, and the space for negative self-talk and potential for self-destruction briefly opened. But with support, the sting from any failure or rejection that might surround experiencing the culmination of something can be transformed into fuel to work toward something better.

Metamorphosis

The caterpillar comes to mind when contemplating endings. Caterpillars live for their end. Their instincts drive them into creating a cocoon, where it's safe and where the ultimate transformation takes place. The humble caterpillar follows its natural inclination and breaks down into a sort of caterpillar soup - gooey, unrecognizable, fluid. No longer the caterpillar we recognize, the metamorphosis is messy and chaotic, but well worth trusting the process. The time in that little cocoon must feel like an eternity, but once everything is formed and the butterfly runs out of space, it has no choice but to emerge from its chrysalis. How painful it must be to beat brand-new wings into the walls of protective comfort! Expanding is its existential prerogative.

Breaking through to end something that once felt safe is painful for both the new butterfly and the experienced human. The loyal employee who worked at the same company for 19 years just to be laid off or the long suffering spouse who stayed long past the expiration of her joy, only to learn that her husband started another family; these common experiences serve to transform into greater events, similar to the wee caterpillar's metamorphosis into the undeniably beautiful butterfly.

Change Hurts So Good

Change is uncomfortable. Transformations are often painful. But to lean into the space that is created after the climax of a cycle, is some of the most delicious discomfort that exists. Perhaps it's because I've learned to love the possibilities that exist in the unknown. Embracing each change is an opportunity to navigate the complexities of life while discovering the beauty that exists in every ending.